wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
