I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
