omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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