Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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