I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize