Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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