I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this boner is exhausting
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
