Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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