note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Randomize
