Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
