wat bout pragnant strippers??
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
