so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
