It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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