I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
