so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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