went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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