you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
