I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
