we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
