And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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