Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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