I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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