Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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