"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
