he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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