you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
