Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
