i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
