He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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