What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
