The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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