im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
