Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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