I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
