Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
