about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
