just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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