Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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