matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Where is the hickey?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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