Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I want a musical about memes.
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