Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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(805): View more from California

Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(716): View more from New York

Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues

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(305): View more from Florida

He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore

(941): View more from Florida

That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore

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