Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
