his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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