Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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