dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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