But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize