If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
