i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
