speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
