just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Shame is for Republicans.
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