I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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