it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
