he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize