hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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