I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
