I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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