We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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