he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize