I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I want is dick and wine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
