she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
