oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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