i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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