Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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