i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
