so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
