Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
