it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
