Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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