I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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