do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize