sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
