Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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