I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
