Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
