Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
