You're completely useless in the revolution.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's great music for shaving your balls
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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