that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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