hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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