Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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